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| Iloveyou my super duper heartbeat :') |
First eeka kenal dia, 3rd of June 2012 through Shuffle Mania kat Kulim . That time dia, Timor ( my lovely brother ) and Hanis ( bestiest friend ) jadi judges for that event . He got my hp number time eeka, ares , ayu, wawa and Fitriyah minum-2 kat tepi tasik Kulim tuu . He came and mintak my hp number atas support from budak ADS especially adik eeka tu lah :) Time tu pulak dia rushing . So after dapat my hp number, that night dia called . He said sorry sebab dia rasa ashamed sangat mintak number dengan cara macam tuu . Dia cakap tak gentleman and that's not him . Its okay lah, I got it ;)
Balik tu pun kteorg text, IM bagai sampai all of sudden I was gone . end of June eeka muncul balik dalam life Shark . Kteorg text macam biasa balik and ade lah gadoh sikit . 1st of July, ktoerg couple :'D Sumpah happy sebab he's a very nice guy, happy go lucky and very talkative guy . Dia berjaya tarik interest eeka . eeka fallen in love with him . He made my day wonderful enough . If takde dia, rasa lain sangat . Sumpah eeka sayang dia sampai lah satu peristiwa buat kteorg terpisah . eeka walked away with someone else .
After one month, time merdeka's day, eeka celebrate kat free9 , HAHA ! Ade Black and White Party Part III . eeka attended sebab shark . Tak sangka shark still tunggu eeka, sayang eeka, cintakan eeka.. Luckily I've made a good decision . Kteorg back together as usual . Much better actually :') Everything goes well sepanjang 5 bulan dengan heartbeat eeka tuu . Gadoh tu biasa lah, marital problem kan ? :p But thank God shark seorang yang sangat penyabar, mudah mengalah . So every time ada problem, kteorg solved bebaik whether orang tolong atau pun tak . Usually Timor yang tolong sebab maybe both of us nie keras kepala, degil sangat kott . Tu je :) But I love him :*
Tiap saat, tiap masa, dia je yang eeka fikir . eeka fikir ape kesudahan relay kteorg, ape yang akan jadi afterwards . eeka fikir semua possibilities eeka dengan dia . eeka taknak hilang dia, sumpah eeka sayang dia . Yes, sometimes eeka annoying, irritating, menyusahkan . eeka tahu and sedar tu . But semua tu sebab eeka sayang dia, eeka takut hilang dia . I dont know what to do If I lose him . Tu yang eeka fikir tiap hari..
Sepanjang dengan dia, gelak tawa, tangis semua tu pernah berlaku . Dia pernah menangis teruk sangat sebab eeka tinggalkan dia . Timor cakap tu yang paling teruk Shark pernah menangis, sampai tersedu-2, sampai tak mampu nak cakap pape . Yang dia boleh cakap, "Topec, aku sayang eeka" Lepas je eeka tahu semua nie, lepas peristiwa malam tuu, eeka tried to be the best for him . eeka taknak sakiti dia dah . But eeka still buat the same mistake . eeka tak tinggalkan dia, but eeka lukakan hati dia . kteorang couple, but he can't feel me . Dia rasa macam dia couple sorang-2 . I'm sorry sayang . I just need time for myself :'/ Time birthday dia pun eeka boleh buat perangai, gadoh bagai . He left me . Teruk sangat-2 eeka menangis . eeka menangis sampai terduduk, sampai sesak nafas . Dia dengar semuanya.. Started from that night, I learnt something and did something to fix and make our relationship much better :'D
Since that night, relay kteorg okay sangat-2 . Rasa macam I'm the luckiest girl in the world sebab dapat guy yang caring, loving, romantic, kelakar macam shark . Swear to God I love him so much.. kteorg selalu jumpa if ada masa . Overnight bagai . Time overnight dengan dia, eeka suka tido dekat dia . eeka akan letak kaki atas riba dia, badan sandar kat dada dia, kepala letak kat bahu dia, tangan sebelah peluk pinggang dia and sebelah lagi letak kat leher dia . Then dia akan belai kepala eeka . Dia akan main rambut eeka . Dia terlalu manjakan eeka . Sometimes sampai eeka tak mampu nak indiependent sendiri . Dia buat everything untuk eeka sampai makan pun dia suapkan, kasut pun sometimes dia pakaikan . See ? Betapa sayangnya dia kat eeka, betapa kasihnya dia kat eeka sampai tahap macam tu dia layan eeka . Lelaki lain tak semua sanggup buat macam tuu . But dia ? :')
For him, I'm the best even eeka selalu lukakan hati dia, buat dia menangis, buat dia makan hati . Semuanya sebab sayang.. but eeka tak appreciate semua tu sampai lah eeka buat status nama lelaki lain . Kantoi dengan shark . He left me just like that, without any explanation . Teruk eeka menangis . 2 days after that eeka masuk hospital, kena tahan ward . Timor tahu, shark pun tahu . Timor ajak dia datang visit eeka kat hosp, but dia refused . Sumpah sedih / terasa / sentap sangat-2 . Biy ! I'm sick okay ? I'm dying ! Yet biy still boleh buat kejam sampai tahap macam tuh dengan org :'/ Sumpah heartbroken gila . Almost seminggu eeka kat hosp . eeka tak boleh tido, stop menangis sebab shark.. eeka rindu dia yang teramat sangat . Tiap masa eeka menangis sampai mama pun tak mampu nak cakap apa dah . Sampai mata eeka bengkak . Mama dah try macam-2 bagi eeka okay . Macam-2 yang mama pujuk nak bagi eeka okay .eeka okay kejap je before eeka started menangis lagi . Time mama suap eeka makan pun eeka still menangis . eeka teringat shark . cara shark suap eeka makan.. Oh God, I miss him so much :'/
Sampai saat nie eeka still tak boleh stop pk pasal dia.. Ramai dah yang pujuk eeka suruh move on my life without him, but I cant ! Timor, Hanis, eyra semua pujuk eeka . Time eyra datang kat hosp, nampak je dia, eeka terus pergi peluk and menangis kat eyra . eeka taktahan sangat dah... eeka nak shark, eeka rindu shark.. eeka nak dia balik.. eeka menyesal sangat-2 buat dia macam tuu . eeka betul-2 harap akan ade chance utk eeka lagi :'( eeka call dia, text dia, langsung takde response . But eeka takkan pernah stop tunggu and sayangkan dia . eeka harap dia tahu tuu . Andai kata shark baca entry nie, there's something yang eeka nak cakap..
Biy, bby mintak maaf sebab buat kat biy macam-2.. Bby tahu bby banyak buat salah dengan biy . Bby banyak lukakan hati biy . Bby tahu semua tuu . Bby mintak maaf sangat-2 :( Bby mintak ampun dengan biy . Bby harap sangat biy dapat maafkan bby . Please bukak pintu hati biy sekali lagi untuk bby . Bby janji takkan sia siakan lagi dah peluang yang biy bagi . Please, I'm begging you . After this if biy nak bby do anything pun takpe, I'll do it except if biy mintak bby move on life without you . Bby tak mampu buat tuu . Takkan mampu :'/ Please jangan kejam sangat dengan bby . Takkan biy nak let go our love just like that ? Biy yang cakap dulu, however pun biy akan defend our relationship . But now ? Biy dah tak ingat ke our promises ? Biy, please sangat-2 :'/ I really love you . I want you back Shahidzul Azuharnaim Zainuhar.. There's a lot of memories that we created together . Most of our time we spent together . Takkan nak forget all those memories just like that ? Tolong lah . No one can love you more than I do and same goes with you . No one can love me more than you do.. Both of us know it right ? Please bagi chance untuk bby and for ourself to fix everything back to normal.. Bby akan tetap tunggu biy even it takes months or years.. I'll always be here.. Mark my words biy sayang . Bby cintakan biy..
